Spring is in the air. Well really, judging from my allergies, Oak is in the air. Nevertheless, isn't it a great time of year? The weather is nice. The seasonal holiday candy is perhaps at it's peak (if candy hearts were available there would be no contest here). The NBA playoffs are in full bloom and Phil Jackson is pontificating about rebirth. Hope springs eternal. That was before we went to an Easter egg hunt yesterday!

Let's back up a few steps though. Mindy has been super excited about the Easter festivities this weekend. Cam has an Easter ensemble that was purchased over 2 months ago.

She has written out an itinerary that includes a local Easter egg hunt, church service, and Sunday brunch. Then earlier in the week she discovers that there are multiple Easter egg hunts planned in our area. This leads to the decision that she wants to hop from one Easter egg hunt to the next over the course of our Saturday (a plan she affectionately refers to as the "bunny hop", sharing her joke with everyone she talks to and awkwardly pausing for anticipated laughter). Anyway, the first leg of the "bunny hop" is scheduled for 10:15. As per usual, we are running late and arrive at the park just as things are supposed to get started. Allow me to describe the events.

We walk across the park toward a mass of people surrounding multiple roped off areas. Suddenly an air horn goes off like a siren, followed by intense screaming and little bodies flying everywhere. It was kind of horrifying. I have to think that any WWII veteran in attendance was on the ground in the fetal position at this point. Mindy rushed off with Cam into this mass of humanity to "hunt" for eggs. (Side note: Why do they call this egg "hunting." It seems like there is very little gamesmanship involved in this pastime. In fact, it seems much more like a job for the Hunter's sissy counterpart: the Gatherer. From now on it's called Egg-Gathering in my book. Either that or litter removal). Anyway, Cam has no idea what is going on. But Mindy successfully blocks out a few children and collects some chocolate "treats" that nobody is going to eat. Mission accomplished.

But the fun is not even close to over. Guess who is going to be at the park this afternoon. That's right - the Easter bunny. The excitement in the air is palpable. The length of the line is awe-inspiring. There was no doubt in my mind that there was a major let down waiting for us at the end of this line. When we got there the bunny-man looked, well, defeated. It's really sad to see a large person trapped inside a stuffed animal sitting alone in a lawn chair. Even more depressing was the sight of his high-top Nike's poking out from beneath his furry ankles. Although I do have to say that the idea the Easter Bunny was ready to play some hoop got me fired up. But then the thought of the Easter bunny crossing me over and raining jumpers over me with his soft paws made me think maybe that match-up is really just a no win situation.

But, we thought we'd give Cam a chance to make up his own mind about the Easter bunny. We walked up to the human-rabbit with little fan-fare and gently handed over our son. It took Cam about 2 seconds to realize that this was in no way okay. He began crying and violently trying to free himself from the disturbing creature's clutches. As a psychologist, I deem this a rational response. I quickly walked up to retrieve my son and that's when it happened: the Easter bunny spoke to me. For those of you who are curious, the Easter bunny's voice is deep and clearly has southern roots. In fact, he sounds a little bit like Billy Bob Thornton. And the Easter bunny is very wise. He speaks in proverbs. This is what he said: "Some day's you're popular. Some day's you're not." And that was all. I left that lawn chair a better man.

There was one other experience of note at the park. The organizers promoted it as a "petting zoo", but it was more like a portable prison of farm-animal torture. It consisted of an assortment of bunnies, chickens, and goats in a caged off area. From a distance this looked cute. When we got in there, again I found myself deeply saddened. What was so sad? Oh I don't know, maybe it was when I approached two bunnies and found them cuddling together, eyes closed, shaking in pure terror. Then I looked around me to see a bunny being picked up by his ears and a chicken who was about to have his head twisted off by a toddler. This must be the worst fate imaginable for a non-violent animal. In all honesty, maybe these animals should seriously re-think there passive ways. It might be time to just bite somebody and get their "tour" over with. Cam enjoyed torturing the animals though, so that was nice.

Well we didn't actually do the "bunny hop" this Saturday. We hung around talking with friends, while Cam explored trash cans and attempted to take every one's eggs (actually, this is a much more sporting game then the original gathering). We watched the lines die down and the shaved ice machine (no jokes about this - just delicious) depart. We watched the Easter bunny get led away like a blind person. Then to the total shock of the child onlookers, the Easter bunny removed his head, got in a Ford Taurus, and drove away. In Billy Bob Thornton's defense, I'm sure it was going to be a long day for him. We walked to the car with a clearly tuckered out Cam fighting to keep his eyes open. All and all, it was a really fun morning!