Due to the shocking nature of these nursery rhymes, I feel the need to precede posts with some parental content ratings.
The following nursery rhyme has been rated I for infant. It may be unsuitable for children over the age of 6 months old or who may in anyway be able to understand its content. Additional sub-ratings include:
D - suggestive dialogue
V - violence
FM - fear mongering
SM - sociopathic mallards
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you: Goosey, Goosey, Gander
Goosey, Goosey, Gander
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers
I took him by the left leg.
And threw him down the stairs.
Well, well, well... it seems these delinquent wordsmiths have taken their hatred of the elderly to a whole new level. Now we're just having animals throw the greedy bastards down flights of stairs. And what is even the moral of this story? Children say your prayers.... or else some god-warrior waterfowl is going to off you. I guess nothing says goodnight like a crusading goosey assassin.
I'm beginning to think that the conspiracy of these disturbed poets is bigger than I ever imagined. I mean, all of these nursery rhymes have come from one book. And I generally have to read about three before I come across one that is totally insane. It looks like my work is cut out for me my friends.
Papa
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