After much deliberation, Mindy and I have a plan. It is a tentative plan that strikes fear into the hearts of probably 3 of the 4 living things in our house. Mindy tries to put up a front of confidence, but when I look into her eyes all I see is an ocean of fear tossed around by currents of jealousy. I try not to look into her eyes anymore. It's very intimidating to see all of that. Anyway, here's the plan. Starting in June I am going to be the daytime care provider for our son. That's right folks. For about 10 hours a day the only thing standing between a 5 month old and certain death is a man who once tried to "bungee jump" with a rope tied around his chest. Cameron's daily educational enrichment is being placed into the hands of an individual who couldn't talk until he was 4 years old and still gets confused about how to address an envelope. His nourishment entrusted to a person who had a legitimate soda/candy "dealer" throughout his formative years and, when he could not be reached, resorted to inhaling sugar straight from the jar. (Don't judge, you don't know what it's like to need sugar in the face of a sweets gestapo). Anyway, I could go on and on with my anti-resume, but I think you get the point. People are legitimately afraid and the clock is ticking. So, I turn to you for help.
I think maybe it would be wise to develop some structure to my day so that I am left to rely on my instincts as little as possible. I need a Daddy Daycare curriculum. And I would love some assistance in its development. Here's what I got so far:
Daddy Daycare - Day 1
10 a.m. - wake up
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3:30 pm - hand baby back to Mindy
I feel like I've got a strong opening act and conclusion, but could use some help with the rest of the day. Of course I have some other ideas, like: power point presentations on fantasy sports, plyometric work outs that target infant fast-twitch muscles, pooping on nursery rhymes, dressing him up and posing him with various fruits for the creation of a calender, eating, etc. But I could use some help in how to organize these things and actually structure the day. Plus I'm always open to new activity suggestions. I only have a month to get the curriculum in order. So let's get on this people.
Thank you for your assistance in this matter,
Papa
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Okay, so in a spirit of seriousness, which is probably seriously misplaced here... and a suggestion that is very anti-Mike... I would recommend finding other stay-at-homes to get together with so you aren't in the house all day every day. This has been the biggest help for me in my stay-at-home mommy experience. But really, your day fills up with stuff you wouldn't think a day would fill up with. Why don't you guys sign up for a gymboree class or a music class or something? Baby story times at the library are also a good way to get him around, er, different adult influences.
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