13-Month Skill Inventory

Mike and I can't believe how much Cameron has learned in the last month. A quick inventory of things he can now do:

• Walk! He started walking a little over two weeks ago, and he's steadily improved every day since then. He now walks almost everywhere, and crawls very little. He doesn't hold his hands over his head anymore, but he still holds them up while he waddles around.
• He's starting to sign more. His latest signs are for "bath" and "milk." The "bath" sign is really cute, because he rubs his belly with both hands.
• It's amazing how much he understands. You can tell him to close the door, turn off the light, go to the car, go to his changing table, and he knows exactly what you're saying. Yesterday my dad told him it was nap time, and he got up and walked to his crib.
• He's learned to throw. The other night, he threw a ball at close range and it hit me right in my forehead. We're going to work on accuracy next...or maybe he's precocious and I was an intentional target?
• He's learning to golf. He knows to use the little golf club to hit the golf ball. Seriously. Maybe we have the next Tiger Woods on our hands...hopefully minus the sex addiction?
• He's really starting to mimic the sounds around him. Recently I've heard him make siren-like noises several times.
• He's finally starting to eat more table foods! He's still picky about food that's too soft (i.e. fruit), but now he will at least eat sandwiches, quesadillas, and tacquitos.
• He knows to pet Reilly very gently. When Reilly's lying on the ground, Cameron walks up to him, squats down, and puts both hands very softly onto Reilly's side. He pets him a couple times, which lulls Reilly into a false sense of security because he usually works into harder pats and sometimes tail-pulling. Then Reilly gets indignant and jumps on the couch.
• He's become very cuddly...which makes this mama very happy. :)

Mommies Group on Blast, Part Deux

In Mike's previous post, he ranted about the invitation, and subsequent disinvitation, from the mommies group in our neighborhood. Since I am still eligible for the group and because another mom had sponsored/recommended me, I thought I would take a look at it to see what kinds of things they do.

First of all, when I went to view the group's page on Meetup, it was a private page, and due to overwhelming demand, they had closed the group to new members. Fine, I can understand their desire to protect their kids' privacy, but I did think it's weird that they refer to themselves as members. But then I also noticed that the first two weeks are a free trial period, and after that, you pay $10 membership dues. Hmm...strange. And then I read the mini application that you have to submit to Big Momma before being approved by the group. I kid you not, here are the questions that you must complete:

• Introduce yourself
• Upload your photo
• Because we love our children and want what is best for them, we require a screening process to join our group and an attendance policy to stay in the group. Do you agree to these terms?
• What are the names and ages of your kid(s)?
• What would you like to get out of this group?
• If you were stranded on an island, what would be your choice of movie, cd, and beverage to have?

Like I said, I understand why there is a screening process. With that being said, I was surprised at how formal the group is. I just want my kid to play with other kids his age, I'm not trying to pledge a sorority, which is kind of what it feels like. I was also a little turned off by the fact that it's required to submit a photo. Does Big Momma only approve pretty mommies? Maybe I'm being biased, because of the previous injustice doled out to Mike, but I just didn't care for the elitist tone of the whole page. I haven't decided if I'm going to join or not, but I thought I could use my free two-week trial period to check it out and see if I like any of the other moms or not. As always, I'll let you know if my first impressions were confirmed or negated.

Anyways, let me know what you think about the mommies group and vote in the poll to the left.

Poignant Babbling

Last night, I had on "The Bachelor" while Cameron was drinking his milk before bedtime. I think Mama Womack was interrogating Emily about whether or not she thought she could truly find love on the farce that is the premise of the show, and Emily responded with, "I truly have feelings for your son; otherwise, I would have left on day one to be with my daughter," or something absurd like that. I kid you not, the minute she stopped talking, Cameron said, "Blah blah blah." What can I say? The kid is discerning...or a future entertainment blogger.

Mommy Issues

This has nothing to do with Cameron. It has everything to do with my Mommy issues. Relax Mom and take a deep breath, I'm not about to put you on blast. I'm talking about my issues with the mommies of Cedar Park. It has been a roll o' coaster of emotions for me the past 24 hours. I want you to take a trip with me back to where it all began. Let's rewind to yesterday at Library class (cue the Wayne's World doo doo do, doo doo do)...

I'm sitting in the class with some women that Mindy and I have befriended lately. These are super nice people and I'm enjoying my conversations. As usual I am the only male in the class above the age of 16 months, but I really have stopped paying much attention to that. I'm starting to feel like I'm just part of the group. Then it happens. The moment I've been waiting for. One of the mother's mentions that they have a "Mother's group" that meets up during the day for outings (i.e. going to the park, etc.) and she wondered if I would like to come along. My heart leapt. Eureka! Ever since I've been a "stay at home" I have longed to be a part of one of those groups at the parks and not just that male creeper lurking about and awkwardly butting into there conversations. Now I was going to have a group of my own. After checking out some books, I walked out of the library to find members of my group still talking with one another. Brimming with confidence and a feeling of belonging I approached the group with a big smile and a "hi there fellow moms." I then made a joke about getting together for "Mani / Pedi's" and everyone laughed, all the while our children played happily around us. It was lovely. We talked for about 5 more minutes then I headed home. I called Mindy on the way to share my excitement about today's events. The rest of the day felt like I was walking on a cloud.

I suppose, I should have seen it coming. I should have known it was too good to be true. Last night is when the hammer fell. I send out an email to the person who had invited me, so she could add Mindy and myself to the email list. I won't cut and paste the response I received, but allow me to furnish you with some of the highlights: "Mindy more than welcome," "Bunco nights," "Group organizer (aka head mom) said," "mom's not comfortable," "breast feeding in public," "You should really be working harder so the nurturing parent can be with your child," "take your penis and scram." Okay, I might have added a couple of elements there. Essentially, she told me that the group organizer (aka Big Momma) said that she thinks having a man there would change the dynamics and she offered to send a link to a Father's group I could pursue. And for the first time in my life, I have some major mother abandonment issues. I wasn't mad, just really, really hurt. I racked my brain for how to deal with the situation. After about an hour of deep thinking and intermittent sobbing I decided how to proceed. I sat down and wrote the following email (with some added explanations to you included within parentheses):

Dear J (aka nice person who kindly included me and is now awkwardly stuck in the middle of me and Big Momma),
You tell your leader that I will not take this lying down. As far as I see it, I have four options at this point:
1) Crawl away like the emasculated bitch that you clearly think I am to join a "father's group" who will undoubtedly never want to play Bunco with me (side note: it has been a dream of mine since my elementary school bunco party to once again play this game. The added Bunco component to this mess is really like a dagger to the heart).
2) Call a local news program and ask them to do an investigation on gender-stereotyping and exclusion by Mother's in the Cedar Park Community
3) Create my own "all-accepting" parenting group, subversively find out wherever your group is meeting, hold simultatneous meeting at that location that tries to both one-up your group and recruit all of it's members; thereby, destroying it
4) Put in for sex-reassignment surgery. Question: What are the mother's stance on transgendered people? I'd like to know how far I'd have to commit to option 4 to make it viable?

So you tell your leader that I'm weighing my options. Unless, of course she has a sudden change of heart. Good day!

I'm still waiting to hear back.

Return of the Blogger

After a five-week hiatus, I'm finally making my triumphant return to the blogosphere. I know what you're thinking - I must think I'm invincible like Charlie Sheen, where I can indulge in my hedonistic lifestyle and disappear for weeks at a time, and then when I'm ready to come back, I expect you, dear reader, to be expectantly waiting for me. Like Charlie Sheen, I have tiger's blood, warlock fangs, and am addicted to winning, and like Charlie Sheen, I have recently engaged in a media blitz to promote this blog (read: posted pictures on Facebook). Unlike Charlie, I do apologize for my absence, and I would like to briefly update you on the events of the past five weeks, so here goes:


We hosted Cameron's first birthday party on Super Bowl Sunday, which was actually his birthday. Cameron got to celebrate his birthday with all but one of his grandparents and great-grandparents. Cameron did NOT enjoy having "Happy Birthday" sung to him, and there was a very anti-climactic moment when he decided he didn't really like his birthday cupcake and wouldn't eat it. So unfortunately, we didn't get any good pictures of cake smeared all over his hands and face.

Cameron went to the doctor for his 12-month check-up. He weighed in at 21 lbs., 14 oz. (40th percentile) and measured 29" (25th percentile). In all other health-related news, all seems to be well. Cam took his four 12-month shots like a champ, and we postponed his chicken pox vaccine until his 15-month appointment. On a side note, I read in the recent issue of Parents magazine that you can predict your child's height by adding 5" to Mom's height and averaging it with Dad's height. If we use this formula, then Cameron will be 5'11" - there's hope for him yet! But Mike says this formula does not account for the Asian factor, which means that we should then subtract 3". Cameron is going to have to learn sooner or later that his father likes to make sweeping stereotypes about his ethnicity.

Cameron started walking last Friday! He had been taking a few steps at a time before he dropped to a squat or crawl, but he finally strung together 15-20 steps and now he is finally bipedal. Welcome to the land of homo erectus, son! Cameron does this cute thing when he walks, where he raises his hands up over his head. We're not sure if this is a sign of triumph or if he's got a severe case of jazz hands. Either way, it's adorable, as you will see in the video below. You will also note my dad's level of excitement about all the walking.

We're having an interesting time with Cameron's diet. Transitioning to whole milk was no problem - in fact, Cameron seems to prefer whole milk to formula. However, eating table foods is a whole other matter. He only wants to eat baby food or hard food, like crackers, Cheerios, or very toasted crust. In fact, he's become quite the cheese cracker connoissuer: he can discern between Annie's cheese bunnies, Cheez-its, pepperjack Cheez-its, and Hot & Spicy Cheez-its. I guess the old saying is true after all: like father, like son. Anyways, after a mini-freak out about his diet, I read online that many moms have had this problem with their children, and the kids eventually grow out of it. So here's to hoping Cameron eventually starts feeding himself and not just feeding Reilly (see Mike's previous post).

Cameron now has two bottom teeth and three and a half teeth on top! We're experiencing some mad drooling, but thankfully the blistering diaper rash hasn't accompanied this round of teething.

Anyways, to wrap this up, sorry it's been so long between posts. I'm just now catching up on things and will try to post more regularly. And just for the record, I kind of wish I had two goddesses who lived with me to cook and clean and watch my kid. That Charlie Sheen knows what he's doing after all! (I just saw that Charlie just got fired from "Two and a Half Men" tonight - maybe he doesn't know what he's doing after all.)

I'm afraid

So Cameron has taken to taunting Reilly while he eats. He routinely takes his food and holds it over the edge of his high chair. Sometimes, when he holds disdain for whatever new food the parentals are trying to force on him, he will look away from the dog and coldly open his hand as though he can't even bear to watch this piece of rubbish be eaten by anyone. Those are the good times for Reilly. It's like he's in a club with Pac Man Jones, except Cam is making it rain bite size solids. Other times, Cameron will hold his food tightly in his hand and hold it over the edge of the high chair with a big smile on his face. Then, as Reilly starts to get close to the food, Cameron will quickly pull the food out of Reilly's reach and squeal with delight. The psychologist in me is now thinking - deliberately tries to provoke others? Check. Enjoys to see other's suffer? Check. Cruelty to animals? Check. Anyway, this little exchange usually ends with Cameron eating the food in his hand and staring at Reilly from his throne with supreme arrogance. Well, today during a late breakfast, we had a slightly new exchange. Cam held out the food to Reilly, but keep it there longer than usual. Reilly, tired of this little munchkins' antics, got more assertive and began to take the food out of Cam's Kong-Fu like grip. Reilly seemed to be being really gentle and doing a good job of discerning between raisin toast and fingers. But, I decided that this interaction was questionable and put Reilly outside for the remainder of the feeding until I had time to sort out my stance on this.

Lets fast forward 10 minutes later. Cam is playfully feeding me a banana cookie when I happen to glance toward the back window and see Reilly's snout pressed against the glass. There was a look of rage in his eyes that made me shudder. I've never been caught in an act of betrayal like that and the look in his eyes chilled me to the bone. I now live in fear of his retaliation...