Honorable Mention:
On August 5, 2010 10:26 PM Kempf Kids' Korner said...
I can see the advantage of a few extra wives around the house, but why, oh why, would I want ANOTHER husband. I have too much work to do picking up after the one I have! (Truer words were never spoken. Goodbye Tim Allen, hello Scarlett Johansson).
On September 27, 2009 9:52 AM Anonymous said...
After yesterday's phone call from Michael requesting my help, I was a little nervous to approach the 'BLOG', not knowing the nature of his request. But this is a subject I can really understand since I have taught enough students with "creative" names to write a book! Well, I approached Richard with the idea of changing his middle name to Stryker. Anyone who knows Richard knows how cautious he is, always pondering the pros and cons of each question before making a comment. He felt he should sleep on this idea before making such a momentous decision. After a lengthy discussion this morning, he is willing to follow his son's wise council. "I will change my name after Michael changes his," he concluded. "But approaching dad (Harold) is his responsibility." Well, chalk one up for Stryker!
Stryker's Grandma
(This comment was well crafted, clever, and made me laugh out loud. Well played, Mom. However, I have to say I'm not taking kindly to the 'Blog' put in quotes. It's a real blog, damn it!!!).
On August 8, 2010 10:52 PM Sadie-pops said...
My initial reaction to this is horror, followed by intrigue, then followed by horror. Tim Allen? (It brings me great pleasure to know that my words can create such powerful, conflicting emotions in another. Thank you for taking us on your emotional journey, sir.)
On October 20, 2009 7:25 Mamacita said...
I have spent many many moments lying on an ironing board upside down while pregnant. It isn't easy or fun. Add delight by using light and vibration to prompt the baby to move (dirty mind mike). (I really feel like we all got a secret glimpse into a night at Mamacita's house here. I also think any sentence that starts with the phrase "add delight by..." is probably going to be a good sentence.)
On April 17, 2010 11:13 Anonymous said...
Let's do some book burning next weekend... Tim S. (Tim S. is really trying to protect his anonymity here. But this known fascist is at large today in the greater Cedar Park area.)
On July 24, 2010 6:02 PM Candie said...
I couldn't agree more. I'm so glad someone has finally said it. That show is lame. I stopped watching it after the Jason saga. What a bunch of crap. (This comment makes the list just because I'm so happy somebody took the time to engage me in a legitimate Bachelorette discussion. It warms my heart. Plus, Candie is our most frequent commenter over the past year. Thank you for all of your contributions.)
Now the moment you've all been waiting for. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you...
Top Five
5. On December 29, 2009 10:54 AM Anonymous said...
Mike:
My father was almost 40 when I was born. He survived World War II and a few other dangers in his life long before I ever came along. He just turned 86 and I treasure every moment with him. He has a somewhat fatalistic view of life, but he has worked hard to teach me that every minute counts. Even the bad/difficult stuff can be survived if you have a family to support you. While both he and I would have liked some things to be different, we get that this is the life we are dealt and that a father/child relationship is just as important as a mother/child relationship. That unconditional love transcends all and goes both ways. You will be a great father and will nurture your son to be all that he can be in life. Even the little stuff you do together will be treasured memories. Take a deep breath and jump in! (I have no pithy retorts for this one. It was just a nice comment. Another interesting fact about this comment is I have no idea who wrote it. Come forward and claim your prize, sir!)
4. August 18, 2009 10:05 PM Naked Man said...
Never fry bacon when you're naked. ( To provide some context, comment was posted in response to a call for advice for G-Baby. My favorite aspect of this comment is that someone took the time to create an account entitled Naked Man to go along with the post. Either that or someone who goes by Naked Man is a reader of our blog. And I am now seriously considering a change in our security settings).
4. On March 27, 2010 10:34 AM Anonymous said...
He's in good company! Kevin rocks the sleeping gowns and Dan is a big fan! (I think this one is much better with no added context).
3. On August 6, 2009 11:11 PM Krissie & Kevin said...
Kevin suggests signing off as "Bloody show you later" (I never saw this gem until I went back through all the comments today. But I think we have a keeper for a sign off tag line. Genius! By the way, Goldie says hi. And, oh yeah, Dan really wants you to keep rocking those sleeping gowns)
2. On October 17, 2009 7:51 PM Anonymous said...
Embarrassingly, with the first two hospital tours we did, the only question Donny had was - "Do you have cable?" Then with the third hospital tour he had the audacity to send me alone to the tour (yes I was the only one that had to collect the "coach's gift" on my own) and still to call me on the cell phone and make me ask the tour guide that "my husband wants to know if you have cable."
Cheryl (I must say this almost got first place. It was really close. This story makes me laugh every time I read it. Considering that this was your singular post for the year, you really should be quite proud. In fact I think you should stand up now, raise your fist in the air, and hop around your living room while repeating "that's one shot, that's one shot, kid." That's how you celebrate efficient success in Jersey and Yorba Linda. )
But without further ado, I present to you the post of the year. This post was also written in response to call for advice for the fetus..
1. On August 24, 2009 10:44 PM Aaron said...
Always play to win, and always play by the rules.
When these two seem simultaneously impossible, defer to the prior by either...
1.) making your own rules thus improving the game that must have been inherently flawed in the first place.
or
2.) completing the game under official protest while making snide, juvenile, and demeaning comments towards the remaining contestants, thus ruining the experience for everyone else.
This is how your father does it, this is how I do it, and this is how all great champions will continue to do it until the sun burns out.
(And let it be written. I have nothing to add. Congratulations! Now we want a speech. Speech! Speech! Speech!)
And thanks again for all of your comments this year. Think hard and comment often and you too might some day be able to hold the prized moniker of Commenter of the Year. Dare to dream!
Bloody show you later,
Father
Not sure if you noticed, but you actually have a Top 6. Yep, double check it.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks so much for my honorable mention. It means a lot to me, even if it was in pity, as I know and will always know that I will never be as funny as my husband. And on that note, congratulations to him for making number one! Way to go, Babe! I knew you could do it!
The average man may feel a swell of pride for the reward of first place in such a competition. The average woman may feel...well, I have no clue what a woman may feel in such a situation since a verbal/written contest of intellect and saavy that includes women is a contradiction in terms.
ReplyDeleteI, however, feel largely apathetic towards this nod. Is the honor of "Commenter of the Year" appreciated? Sure, I guess. However, winning this contest is like being the one-eyed king in a kingdom of the blind.
So now I am caught in a delicate circumstance: how do I defend a title on a blog that I sneer at with posters that I demean since I can't deny that I read with regularity and also devote a few spare moments devising retorts of my own? Have I created a mountain so big that even I can't move it? The short answer: NO.
I will remain the most revered critic and awe-inspiring wordsmith during the next year the same way I go about excelling in every other area of my life. I will get up in the morning, walk to my bathroom, look in the mirror, and challenge the only true competition that I've ever faced in my 30+ years on this spinning rock: the man I was the day before. And even to my own surprise, I will find a way to surpass expectations even I didn't know I had.
One note to Dr. Graves - you played your hand well. You knew that your blog was dying a slow death (despite the cute, cuddly, and well-coifed Cameron) and you were badly in need of a ratings-grabber. Well, your "Sweeps Week" stunt worked. You knew that to summon the absent hero (me) from my lair, you would need some kind of Bat-Signal. You knew that a true champion like myself desires, nay requires competition. Like the Caped Crusader, I have answered your call. You managed to stir a fire in my belly since I was inexplicably denied the Top 3 spots on your Top 5 (or 6 as my lovely wife so astutely pointed out).
Let the 2nd annual Comment Contest begin... By the way, is my trophy/monetary prize in the mail? If it isn't yet, please be sure to send it via First-Class insured mail. If it is broken or cheaper than I deserve, rest assured that I will send it back C.O.D.
The average man may feel a swell of pride for the reward of first place in such a competition. The average woman may feel...well, I have no clue what a woman may feel in such a situation since a verbal/written contest of intellect and saavy that includes women is a contradiction in terms.
ReplyDeleteI, however, feel largely apathetic towards this nod. Is the honor of "Commenter of the Year" appreciated? Sure, I guess. However, winning this contest is like being the one-eyed king in a kingdom of the blind.
So now I am caught in a delicate circumstance: how do I defend a title on a blog that I sneer at with posters that I demean since I can't deny that I read with regularity and also devote a few spare moments devising retorts of my own? Have I created a mountain so big that even I can't move it? The short answer: NO.
I will remain the most revered critic and awe-inspiring wordsmith during the next year the same way I go about excelling in every other area of my life. I will get up in the morning, walk to my bathroom, look in the mirror, and challenge the only true competition that I've ever faced in my 30+ years on this spinning rock: the man I was the day before. And even to my own surprise, I will find a way to surpass expectations even I didn't know I had.
One note to Dr. Graves - you played your hand well. You knew that your blog was dying a slow death (despite the cute, cuddly, and well-coifed Cameron) and you were badly in need of a ratings-grabber. Well, your "Sweeps Week" stunt worked. You knew that to summon the absent hero (me) from my lair, you would need some kind of Bat-Signal. You knew that a true champion like myself desires, nay requires competition. Like the Caped Crusader, I have answered your call. You managed to stir a fire in my belly since I was inexplicably denied the Top 3 spots on your Top 5 (or 6 as my beloved wife so astutely pointed out).
Let the 2nd annual Comment Contest begin... By the way, is my trophy/monetary prize in the mail? If it isn't yet, please be sure to send it via First-Class insured mail. If it is broken or cheaper than I deserve, rest assured that I will send it back C.O.D.