A Sign of the Times

Don't worry, no political rants today. Instead we are going to talk about baby sign language. So we have started "teaching" Cameron some signs. I say "teaching" with quotation marks because I don't think there is much learning going on. What's happening equates to a parent making exaggerated hand motions while asking a question like "do you want to eat" over and over in increasingly high pitched tones, while Cameron stares blankly and grins. We checked out a book from the library called "Baby Signs" to be our guide in this novel form of communication. The book contains a lot of basic every day signs (i.e. more, food, diaper), but I have found it to be lacking some other ones that I think would be rather useful. These are the signs Cameron and I want in the book -

1. The sign for "Warning - Prepare yourself because I am about to scream like a dinosaur." Seriously, once in a while the dinosaur shriek really startles me. Like, jump out of my seat startles me. So this sign would improve my peace of mind and make it so I don't have to live in fear around my son anymore. Or really this could just be a sign that replaces crying in general. And I think the sign itself should be jazz hands. Imagine a world where all baby crying has been replaced with funky baby jazz hands. That's a better world.

2. The sign for "Yes" and "No" - I'm sure these exist, probably in the form of head shaking and nodding, but I want them in the book. I mean the book has the sign for hippo, but not for yes. I figure with just these two signs alone and my adult expressive language skills Cameron and I can carry on full 20-question like conversations. Put it in the book.

3. The sign for "it hurts here" - Wouldn't this be helpful? This sign consists of biting the thumb and pointing to the place on the body where it hurts. On a side note, either they need to scale down the dexterity difficulty on some of these signs or I need to start in occupational therapy. Considering my hand writing, probably the second one. Regardless, I am struggling with some of these signs. It's sad.

4. The sign for "back off" (aka get the hell out of my face, stop making that annoying noise, and stop making a general fool of yourself) - Babies need a sign to ask for space and relief from the annoyance of adults. Clearly this sign needs to be just an extended middle finger.

5. The sign for "I understand what you are talking about right now" - This would be more than helpful. Then I will know when I really need to stop putting Cameron to sleep with DMX. Mindy would know when she needs to stop swearing like a sailor and verbally abusing me in front of Cameron. For this sign, perhaps a hand behind the ear in conjunction with the sign for "Yes?"

And that's what I've got for now. But it's occurred to me as I write this that I don't need a book to tell me what a sign is. I can "teach" Cameron any sign I want. So these signs are going into his repertoire. And I just did the sign for "Yes" and a double "back off" to celebrate my revelation.