It's time to get political

Gay marriage is so yesterday. I'm about to hit you with the marriage debate of the future. It's time for somebody to speak out and defend the right of plural marriage. And this isn't a satirical attempt to make a rhetorical statement about the gay marriage issue; I'm serious. Why is plural marriage illegal? Think about it. It is perfectly legal for me to have as many non-marital sexual relationships as I want. I could have 25 girlfriends, father children with all of them, and the government sees no problem with that. But if I decided that I wanted to enter into a committed relationship with a couple of young women and actually raise my children as a loving, communal family, then I'm breaking the law (somewhere Bill Paxton is nodding). It saddens me how much Mindy wants a sister wife and how the United States government continues to deny her this dream. Plus a change in the law will undoubtedly create the Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever when the bachelor or bachelorette finally just decides to keep both of the finalists. Somewhere in the evil lair where he lurks, Chris Harrison just shuddered with excitement. Seriously though, a civil union between any consenting adults should be recognized.

On a side note, I think that we would probably have to change the tax laws so as not to overly encourage individuals to enter into plural marriage. Which brings up another issue. Why does the government encourage marriage and child birth by giving people tax breaks? Are these things that the government really needs to encourage? Just because somebody decides to continue the over population of the earth by having a child, why does that entitle them to pay less in taxes? Think about it. I'm making a lot of sense right now, admit it. Having said all that, I'm really looking forward to next April when Cameron finally starts making us a little money back:) Thank you Uncle Sam for your nonsensical policy.

Finally, all of this talk about plural marriage has got me thinking about what characteristics I would want in a brother husband. I have come up with the following. I would want somebody who was very handy around the house, made a lot of money, is a little bit shorter and worse looking then me, maybe a little older, has a good sense of humor (aka thinks I am funny), and is readily subservient to my authority as first husband. As I read back my criteria, I'm thinking that Tim Allen might be a really good fit. I just wrote Tim Allen-Graves a few times in cursive on a piece of paper and I'm liking what I see. Now all we need is for America to wake up and maybe this dream could become a reality.