Playa playa

Cameron is the best wingman I've ever had. Or perhaps, I'm his wing man. Or even more likely, Cameron is just a straight up baller and I am just necessary to move him from place to place. Whatever the chain of command, it is a cold hard fact that the ladies love them some Cam. Today I went to turn in my official resignation with the school district (I told Mindy that I signed up for retirement, but she didn't think that was funny). Anyway, I went in to the payroll office, Cameron in tow, to talk about my final paycheck options. A secretary stopped me in the hall to have a look at Cameron. She began her predictable oohing and aahing and desperate attempts to make him smile. Well this exchange drew the attention of some of the other employees, because before I knew it middle-aged women were swarming us. Seriously, there were probably 4 offices in this hallway and in a matter seconds there were 9 women encircling Cameron. I think another one was repelling from the ceiling. It was a bit intimidating to be honest with you. Cameron of course, being the total ladies man that he is, initiated his go-to heart melting routine: gummy smile followed quickly by spit filled coo and air slap in your general direction. He knows what the ladies like. He continued to lay on his charm despite the fact one of the cougars called him fat and another told him that he needed to get a "boy haircut." After I finished my meeting and was leaving, most of the women came back out from their offices and assembled themselves along the hall to create a mini Cameron parade. We were showered with more adoration and strange adult baby noises on our way out. By the time we left we had accrued two standing offers to babysit and an invitation for a play date. Like I said, boy has game!

Which got me thinking... If I was an older single man, there would be no better way to pick up women. Rent or borrow yourself a baby and head on over to Hobby Lobby. You'd have six phone numbers and probably somebody would have knitted you something before you left. It would be like shooting fish in a barrel. In fact that should be a new expression for something that's just too easy. It's like seducing middle aged crafters with a baby!