Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Planes, Trains, and Naan

Me and Tinker Bell have a lot in common.  We both work in bolstering the psyches of children, we often soar through the air, and we are extremely jealous of mermaids and Tiger Lilly.  But most of all, we are both so insecure that we are only driven to action by the praise and affirmation of others.  For instance, I have basically had two hairstyles in my life.  Other than a brief mullet phase that was trending in the fifth grade, my early years were spent rocking the little-boy comb to the side look.  Then one fateful day my Sophomore year of high school a female classmate ($10 bucks if a high school buddy can guess who this is on one try...) off-handedly mentioned "hey Mike, maybe you should try spiking your hair?  That would look good on you."  Boom.  18 years later and now I'm a middle aged man with spiked hair trying too hard to be relatable with adolescents.  I'm still waiting for somebody to tell me that a different hair style looks good on me so I can do something about this.  However, Mindy and I did receive some praise and requests for our blog this weekend.  So here I am.  And if you were one of those people complimenting the blog this weekend, just know that you have revived it just like the audience revives Tinker Bell in the musical.  I am imagining every one of you sitting around me right now, starting with a slow clap, and then building to a thunderous ovation of love and approval.  I must bring the blog back to the people!!!!!!

Because it has been so long since we've blogged, I thought I'd go with the rapid fire cliff notes version of the summer.  This is what's been up:

  • Cam talks in phrases now.  This includes gems such as: "I'm scratching my itchies," "I don't want to go to school," "Momma go the kitchen!" and "I farted a poop."
  • I committed my first child-related sex offense by parading around a public pool full of children for about 45 minutes before realizing I had a large rip down the back of my board shorts. 
  • We traveled to Yellowtone with my parents and sister's family.  Mindy and I explored the majesty of God's paint brush.  Cameron explored the majesty that is YouTube train videos.  Which brings me to my next point...
  • Cameron has become obsessed with the railroad.  Close your eyes and imagine the island of Sodor.  Ok, you just saw our kitchen.  Every night at prayer time I diligently ask God to grant Cameron the finger dexterity to attach those Thomas train cars together by himself.  One day!
  • I have been blessed to hear Mindy and Cam debate at least twice a week about whether or not a certain red train at our house is Victor or a special edition red Thomas.  The discussion generally goes like this.  "It's Victor."  "It's not Victor."  "Yeah, it's Victor."  "No, it's not Victor.  It's Thomas."  "Yeah, it's Victor!"...  Let's just say this issue remains unsettled. 
  • We had an awesome time attending a Sikh / Hindu wedding in Sacramento.  I learned two truths about myself.  I really like Naan and Indian dance music.  Also, just a heads up to whoever "weddings" with me next:  I will have a wad of one dollar bills in my hand at some point, I will lick my pointer finger in a really suave manner, and I will proceed to make it rain on the dance floor.  I've never actually seen that before and I didn't realize how awesome it makes you look. 
  • Some things don't change.  Such as, Cameron still thinks that all Asian women are Mindy.  A very awkward exchange occurred at the park this weekend as Cameron chased a woman around the playground calling her Mama, grabbing her legs, and bossing her around.  Even as I stood right next to him and explained that the woman he was groping was not his mother - he paused, looked her dead in the face, then commanded "Mama go down slide."  It was uncomfortable for me.  I felt like I might as well just tell this woman "I find you very attractive."
  • While visiting old-town Sacramento this weekend Mindy made the following statement, "Old Sac is so cute."  I think this bodes well for our future together. 
  • I also continue to be befuddled and disturbed by children's literature.  Check out this gem from a potty training book.  Feel free to sing along to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" if you want.  Because you can.
  • Tinkle, tinkle on the floor
    That's what Bob did till age four
    And he pooped on the den chair
    On the couch, or anywhere
    He'd poop on your welcome mat
    On your swing, or on your cat
     
    Seriously?  WTF?  One question - is there nothing a little less visually alarming that rhymes with mat.  One professional opinion- somebody needs to get Bob some intervention pretty quickly. 
    And... that's our summer in a nut shell :)  Seriously though, Cam is at a really fun age.  He's becoming more and more fun to play with / torment. And it's amazing to hear and see the new stuff he learns every day.
     
    Until the "Fall in a nut-shell" blog,
    Father