Highlights from Christmas Vacation

1) Life is better when every day holds the real possibility that a shirt will not be necessary.  Witnessing Cameron's love for sitting in his boxers playing video games makes me really fear for his success in college.

2) Speaking of video games, Mario Kart was rediscovered.  There wasn't a day that went by where the whole family didn't engage in multiple grand prixes.  Carter "races" by grabbing a steering wheel and assuming a dictatorial role in what characters and tracks are selected.  Then he  "steers" his way down the track and takes ownership of all results.  Teaming up with Carter on team "Peach" is not something to be taken lightly.  What is said if you miss out on the podium will not leave you feeling good about yourself.

3) It was about 2 days into our re-discovery of Mario Kart that I realized that Cam is better than me at the game.  I knew the day would come when he would surpass me at just about everything, but I wasn't quite prepared for it to happen at the age of 5.  It really is a little humbling when you are trying your best at something and consistently being defeated by someone who is still in a booster seat.  So what did I do when I came face-to-face with the demise of my video game dominance?  Well, those who know me well know damn well what I did.  I alternated between whining about unfair playing conditions and hours of practice until I knocked that little punk off my throne.  It took honest analysis of my weaknesses and a willingness to unleash a fury of shells on a Kindergartner, but I am proud to inform you that I am again a welcome member of team Peach.  And there may have been a few occasions, early on in my return to glory, where I circled the living room mimicking Peach's victory celebration by blowing kisses in my opponents faces.  But that is how we do.  And in all seriousness, it is super fun to really compete with Cam. At this point it's pretty back and forth between us, but I shudder to think what will happen when he masters the drift.  My hunch is we are not going to be seeing many kiss-filled victory laps for a while again...

4) Carter decided to potty train himself over the break.  Such is the way of the second born I suppose.  The first one was prodded toward the feat with an array of stickers and anxious encouragement.  The second one stepped into the void of our indifference with nonchalant mastery.  The dude just decided one day that he was going to henceforth relieve of his waste in the toilet. There you go.  My favorite part of the experience is when he started calling the final sprinkle of his urine "raindrops."  I've encouraged him to emphasize his catch-phrase with some "Along Came Polly" flair.  So, if you here "raindrops" shouted from the vicinity of our bathroom you may want to wipe the toilet seat before you sit down.

5) I wasn't there for this one, but apparently Carter got knocked over by a bigger kid in a Chick-fil-A play area.  When they got to the car and Mindy asked more about what happened, Carter declared that the next time they go to Chick-fil-A he's going to "fight that guy."  This was then followed by Cam and Carter describing the exact methods of physical violence they were going to perpetrate on this kid.  That's right kid, you better watch out because the Graves' boys are coming for you.  At least that feels like a good idea from the safety of their mini-van.  Maybe a next step in that direction would be a drive-by, where they could roll down the windows and let him hear their empty threats.  I'm just saying...

6) Mindy and I spent about 10 minutes arguing about which direction was clock-wise on a ceiling fan.  I still have no idea, but am certain I am right. 

7) We had a garage sale in which we cleared our house of most of our baby stuff.  Cam was super excited about it because he and Carter got to keep the earnings for their college funds.  I'm often a little hesitant to get rid stuff, because a lot of things are associated with good memories and my inclination is to hold on.  But, I liked the garage sale.  It was kind of cool to see the stuff go to people who actually wanted it, rather than just dropping it off at Goodwill or something.  And it was a good way to meet new people in our community.  Garage sale people have an interesting culture.  Most of the stuff we were basically just giving away to the first person who showed interest, but I did try my hand at haggling.  My favorite moment is when I got in a heated negotiation over the value of a "dinosaur walker". I really didn't like this guy's general demeanor and wasn't about to part with this prize of toddlerhood for less than $3.  But when he walked away unexpectedly from the bargaining table, that left me determined to sell that baby to somebody.  The amount of hype that the dinosaur walker received that day was Tebow-esque.  It still saddens me greatly that it didn't end up fetching more than $2.  Ridiculous.  Anyway, at the end of the day Cam and Carter have about 65 more dollars toward supporting their young-adult video game addictions.

Overall, fun was had by all.  Monday was a hard day for half of the household as the reality of a return to work/school loomed.  But Cam and I will be seeing a lot of each other this Friday as I will be joining him for a parent volunteer day. They have a program at his school where Dad's are encouraged to take on a faux security guard role and patrol the halls of the school.  I'm not joking about this.  And I am planning on attacking this venture with a Dwight Schrute like intensity.  There will be a zero tolerance policy in the halls for student and teachers a like.  And I'm excited to blog about my observations that day.  In fact, I'm toying with the idea of live-blog from my patrol.  But we'll see what happens...

Happy New Year,
Father

And the second one gets a whole paragragh

Carter has taken to calling me back into his room after his bed time routine to tell me, "sometimes I love you, sometimes I hate you."  He says it with a smile, like he knows he's the cutest thing in the world.  But I know he's putting me on notice.  I better step up my parenting and stop messing with his eternal will or I will be deprived of his charm.  It's a pretty effective strategy.  And I don't know if a lot of two-year-olds are perpetual trash talkers, but this one is like Gary Payton in his prime.  If he wins at something he lets you know.  If he loses, he usually still thinks he won and let's you know.  He mostly just works with the phrases "I win," "how you like that," and "yeah baby" in various sequences, but he also sprinkles in the occasional "in the face."  I'm sure he is socially reinforced for all of this.  Things Carter love include: Thomas the train, Peach from Mario Kart, puzzles, and his brother.  That little dude adores his brother.  He mimics his actions with cult-like fervor.  And it seems like the cult mostly consists of rituals involving nudity and/or quests for parental attention.  Carter is the sort of kid who is usually down to try new things, as long as those new things aren't food.  He's already discovered the art of sarcasm and the power of withholding his affection.  He's sweet and cuddly.  He's smart and always paying attention.  He can go 15 minutes without saying a word and then jump right into the middle of the conversation.  He's a great kid.  To know Carter is to love him.  Unless you are on the losing end of a puzzle race with the little punk...