Revelations

I've learned exactly 10 things so far in 2014.  I'm going to share them with you now.

10: Cam's obsession with Ninja Warrior is not good for his face.
9: You can consistently complete Insanity workout videos before getting a Blue Cross Blue Shield agent on the line.
8: Fire fighters need a raise. It feels like you could earn an honest living in that profession, but apparently it requires panhandling to supplement your income.  Seriously, put your boots back on and get out of the street.  At least when you were fundraising with your lascivious calendars you weren't causing a traffic delay.  The next begging fire man I see in the road is getting his bare foot ran over.  You have been warned. 
7. Mexican food + lots of spinning = sitting in your own vomit for the car ride home.  It was a tough lesson for her to learn, but I told Mindy not to spin so much.
6. Boy's trips to Del Rio are good times.  If I close my eyes I can still hear Cam chanting "no ladies, no babies."  And don't bother asking Cam about our trip because he's been trained that what happens in Del Rio stays in Del Rio.  But I'll give y'all a little sneak peak.  Let's just say that 3 out of the following 4 things are true.  Cam attempted to pee off a bridge and ended up with urine all over his clothes.  We picked up a hitchhiker somewhere near San Antonio that we later learned was an escaped convict.  There was at least one night where Cam could be found binge eating chocolate cake in motel room at 11 pm.  My father won a limbo contest at my cousin's wedding by out-dueling a midget.  Let me just reiterate that a good time was had by all.
5. Croup is the devil's work.  And I'm pretty sure Chris Harrison probably has something to do with spreading this destructive force.
4. Preschoolers are master negotiators.  And they always seem to be working toward attaining the most immediate reward.  At first I was trying to offer Cam some guidance around this tactic.  I was trying to help him put off some immediate gratification in the pursuit more significant pleasure down the road.  But the more I became acquainted with his strategy, the more I respected it.  He has it right.  You just have to be relentless in your negotiation for short term gain.  You see, there's no harm in agreeing to give up something in the future to obtain immediate reward.  Because we both know that when we get to this so called future loss, that exact same strategy is still going to apply.  I think he plans on just pushing back his loss until he moves out of the house.  In some ways it's kind of like our national debt situation.  Preschoolers are very advanced.
3. Steven Tyler decided to go as the Geico Caveman to the Grammys.
2. Cam is incapable of talking about religion without adopting the accent of a southern woman.  I guess sending him to a church-based preschool in Texas has measurable affects.  And "Lawd" is it cute. 
1. Carter being mobile is a game changer.

Truth has been spoken here today.  Go with "Gawd".

Father