Sunday, March 11, 2012

A Gentle Spirit: European Flair, 2 Soft hands, and 1 Small Member

Some might say our son is very European. For example, he is well on his way to mastering the art of the sports flop. His balance seems to strategically deteriorate when confronted with even the idea of contact. He isn't able to play soccer for more than 5 minutes without intentionally throwing himself on the ground at least twice. To me, this ratio seems about right for a career in the sport. His floppery also translates to basketball. He is known to scream in mock pain after shooting the ball or initiate contact and then flail backwards as if hit by a train. In order to complete his development I have ordered him a special sports-addition Rosetta Stone so that he can learn to deride officials in Turkish. Then he will be unstoppable!
-
On a somewhat similar note, Cameron has come to the decision that he wants to be a hand model when he grows up. Ala George Costanza, he is well aware that maintaining soft and supple hands is his future meal ticket. Any foreign substance coming into contact with his palms or digits is a sworn enemy that must be eradicated with great haste. His hands must be clean at all times. It has gotten to the point that after he flops, he'll maneuver to stand back up without using his hands whatsoever. Besides the fact that this act highlights his incredibly open hips and he seems to have stumbled upon a fairly intense ab work-out, the whole display is rather absurd. He has also transitioned away from the high five and now exclusively gives fist bumps. I'm telling you - he's dedicated to his craft.
-
On a possibly similar note, Cameron's friends are insulting his penis. You read that right! His manhood has come under verbal attack. I'm going to withhold the traumatizing story in order to prevent further emotional scarring for Cam. But, I'll give you a few snippets. Let's just say it involved a shared bath with a toddler co-ed, some anatomy questions, pointing, and the phrase "it's so little." Ouch! However, I think Cam handled the situation well. In response Cam stood a little taller, arched his back and said "listen, I'm only in the 25th percentile for height and this bath water is room temperature at best." Hand models don't lack for self-assurance.
-
Switching gears. I wanted to state for all to hear that my son is simply a delight right now. I want to lightly bop him on the nose and shout from the rooftops how much I love that little dude. He is just so filled with glee and excitement. And he's so sweet. I love him very much. I know that I'm biased, but I think he is incredible. I'm a very blessed person to have such a wonderful family!
-
Well the time has come to say goodbye. I think I will now conclude each post with a quotation hand-picked to inspire and titillate you the reader. Today, I am going to borrow from one of the greatest and "deepest" thinkers of the modern era.
-
"It takes a big man to cry. But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man." - Jack Handy
-
Be well my friends,
Papa

No comments:

Post a Comment