A week in review

From my perspective at least, it's been a good week. I'll give you a summary and then a brief photo montage. Let's see, what did we do this week? Well, we slept a lot, ate a lot, and watched a lot of soccer. The boy is rooting for USA, South Korea, and Cameroon (in that order). However, Cameron and I both have some major bones to pick with the sport of soccer in general. Cameron thinks FIFA is the most incompetent organization since BP (he is very wise and politically satirical for a four-month-old). He has three major points of contention. First, why aren't players allowed to actually see how much time is left in the game? That just seems like a rule that is designed to decrease strategy and skill (which by definition makes it a stupid rule). Second, how can referees call fouls without ever indicating what the foul was or whom it was on? Good thinking, FIFA. If you want to keep your game on the up and up, it's brilliant to have zero communication and accountability for your officials. Third, the entire card system. It is totally subjective and variable from official to official, yet the consequences of it carry over from one game to the next. I have a new perspective for all of the rioting and violence associated with soccer and its fans. I used to think that it was associated with the fact that there are so many passionate fans in economically disadvantaged areas of the world. Nope, it is a result of creating a game that is clearly designed to drive people crazy. Anyways, that is all we, I mean Cameron, has to say about that topic. Go USA!

Let's switch gears for a moment and talk about an inherently fair and completely legitimate sports organization: the NBA. Cameron is blessed to only know a world where the Los Angeles Lakers are NBA champions. Although he wasn't able to stay up for the whole game, he did get to join in the celebration afterwards. There was much partying into the night in Leander, Texas this Thursday. We went outside to look for cars to tip over, but found that Cameron and I can't quite accomplish that on our own. Maybe next year.

Speaking of feats of athletic prowess... Cameron rolled over for the first time this week. Well, he actually rolled over at like four weeks of age, but since he hasn't done it in about two and a half months and it looked like his gigantic noggin was really just pulling him over on himself back then, we are counting this as his first official roll over for developmental documentation purposes. I do not think that it is any coincidence that this accomplishment occurred after he began Daddy Day Care. Clearly my specially designed infant plyometrics course is producing excellent results. I guarantee he will be walking by six months. We cannot be stopped.

Really, those are the high points. Here are some pictures to help everyone fill in some gaps. Cameron celebrating the Lakers victory in his Kobe Jersey (note he was in this for over four hours and refused to poop in it once... that's my boy!).

I did have some reservations about putting my son in an "alleged" sex offenders jersey. Here's Cameron doing his best Kobe mug shot pose.

And last Laker-related photo, I promise. Here he is flashing five for the number of championship rings he has. Cameron can be kind of classless sometimes.

Moving on, here is Cameron hanging out with his good buddy Kevin. Overall, the interaction went well with genuine human interest in one another and only minimal physical violence.

Finally, here is Cameron chilling in his shades. Tell me he doesn't at least somewhat resemble Perez Hilton in this pic?

And agenda for this week is to start a diet. Just kidding, don't get mad at me out there all you apologists of healthy infant body images. The man is such a round mound of smiles these days. Well, that's all I've got for now. Good day.

Father

Just the two of us

I thought I'd provide a brief recap of day one of Daddy Day Care. We arose around 8 a.m. The anticipation in the house was palpable. The amount of freedom we both felt in that moment was almost unbearable. The day was ours to do with as we pleased. I looked through Cameron's drawers for the perfect outfit to memorialize the occassion. Being the Caucasian parent, I thought I'd go with a white trash theme. Next I did what every good American parent does, I plopped Cameron down on the couch and let the television raise him.

Cameron and I make a great team. I sneak in a fantasy draft for the world cup. Cameron starts screaming and writhing around on the ground when there is really nothing wrong with him in honor of soccer players. I read to him from depressing books. He mocks the hardship of life (while Reilly goes on hating it):

All in all I would consider day one a success. Highlight of the day was filming the Bounty fabric softener commercial:


Lowlight of the day, was when we returned from an errand and found a substance on the carpet that was unclear whether child or dog excreted. I spared ya'll a picture of that. But perhaps my proudest moment of the day was when Cameron went UFC on me and straight up head butted me in the nose. It was awesome. Tomorrow we're working on submission grappling. So, wish us luck in day two. I'll leave you with the quote of the day for tomorrow:

"It is not to be thought that the life of darkness is sunk in misery and lost as if in sorrowing. There is no sorrowing. For sorrow is a thing that is swallowed up in death, and death and dying are the very life of the darkness."

Hugs,
Papa

It is upon us

Daddy daycare commences in the morning. The house is aflutter with excitement. We are going to begin our day with a brief opening ceremony and finish our evening adorned in matching Laker onesies in preparation for game four of the NBA finals. My tentative plan is to start drinking in the early afternoon. There will be exercise, laughter, full bellies, long naps, and little reason for tears. If he doesn't take his first steps tomorrow, I'm guessing that will probably happen by the second week of camp Papa. I will keep you all abreast of the glory that is about to ensue. And just to set the tone I would like to leave you all with Daddy Day Care's inaugural quote of the day:

"Your ideas are terrifying and your hearts are faint. Your acts of pity and cruelty are absurd, committed with no calm, as if they were irresistible. Finally, you fear blood more and more. Blood and time."

And so it begins...

Sneak Peek at Daddy Daycare

When Mommy's away, Daddy will play...with gel in Cameron's hair. When I came home from work last Friday night, I was welcomed by a faux hawked Cameron. I should have known - Mike has been dying to gel up Cam's hair since the day he was born. I consider this a sneak peek of how time will be spent once Daddy Daycare starts on Thursday...

A side view:

And like father, like son doing their best Blue Steel:

On a side note, I'm starting to wonder if we should get Cameron's hair cut soon. It's getting very long on the sides and in the back - almost a baby mullet. I'm not sure I could cut it myself, and I don't know if there are stylists out there who cut hair for four-month-olds?!?

Do I Have Something on My Face?

We had an incident tonight. Let me lay the groundwork for this story: Cameron, Reilly, and I walked to the mailbox tonight. When we came back into the house, I noticed that Reilly was by my side licking the floor and then my leg. I felt something warm on my arm and saw that Cameron had spit up and it was dripping down my arm. So I put Cameron down on the couch and started to wipe off his face. And then Reilly looked up at me, and I saw this:

Poor doggie!

Not Just Mike's Blog

A friend of mine made an inocuous comment about our blog last week, but I felt that it must be addressed in case there are others out there in the blogosphere who have the same sentiment. Last week, my friend Paul from high school emailed me to say how much he's enjoying, and I quote, "Mike's blog." Now wait just one second - this blog is definitely not Mike's platform to attempt a Cormac McCarthy-like narrative for a captive audience; it is a joint venture. Sure, if you're looking for a charming anecdote with fictitious numbers about how many times our son startles himself to sleep, then you'll look for posts authored by Father. Or if you want to search for insight into Mike's inner pysche and his fear of death, then you'll appreciate his posts. But when you want relevant updates about Cameron's development, then I'm your girl. And as such, here is the latest on our little man...

Cameron visited the doctor today for his four-month well check. He weighed in at 16 lbs. 2 oz., which is in the 75th percentile, and he measured 24.5" long, which is in the 25th percentile. WHAT?!? No wonder he looks like such a chunky baby - he's a round mound of baby pounds. I expressed my concern that he would be short to Mike tonight, and this was Mike's pragmatic response, "Well, in a room of four people, he wouldn't be the shortest person in the room." Thanks for that analysis, Dr. Mike. We tried to take Cameron's four-month pics last night, but the camera battery ran out so we will finish the photo shoot tomorrow night.

In other developmental news, Cameron now laughs, plays with toys (rings are his favorite), sucks boths of his thumbs (not at the same time), does happy baby pose (little yogi!), and reaches out to touch Reilly. But we're still working on rolling over! Maybe his stubby little legs in the 25th percentile aren't strong enough to propel his chubby body in the 75th percentile over...

40 winks (literally)

Amazingly the Graves' family has made it over 4 days now without an evil wizard or dark lord breaking into our house and making me choose between my life or my son's. I'm hoping this run of good luck continues. Moving on, I thought I would take a second to share an event in Cameron's life today. I would like to warn all readers that the following is a stream-of-consciousness, meandering tale that is probably of little interest to anyone aside from our immediate family. You have been warned.

I picked Cameron up from his super all-inclusive infant care resort (seriously, the in-laws are the best! His day is filled with work-outs, photo shoots, wardrobe changes, etc. It's amazing. I cannot thank Mindy's parents enough for looking after him these past two months. It has created such peace of mind to know that he is with them. We could never thank the Rudds enough. But perhaps dinner on us at Olive Garden might do the trick... That's the level of gratitude I'm talking about here. I now fear that I have gone too far in this parenthesized side note to even attempt to pick up where the last sentence stopped. Don't get angry with me lovers of all things grammar, but I am just going to pretend that there is not an incomplete sentence way up there and just start from here). After I picked Cameron up from his state-of-the-art, full-service baby center, he was really sleepy. I brought him home, clicked on the "Hurt Locker" for our viewing pleasure, and went about rocking him to sleep. Within about 2 minutes, his thumb was in his mouth and his eyes were drooping. But alas, all the gun fire from the movie kept startling him back awake. So I turned off our movie and moved him to his bedroom. I laid him in his crib and stood there with him to make sure he was really going to fall asleep. This is what he did. He started with his right thumb in his mouth, his left hand on his stomach, and his feet in happy baby pose. His feet would slowly drop down toward the bed as he drifted to sleep. As soon as his feet hit the bed, he would startle himself back awake. Eyes open, feet pop back up. About 5 seconds later, his eyes were closed and his feet were dropping back toward the bed. Feet touched down, startled awake. He did this 28 times. I counted. The plan was to keep waiting until he figured out a solution to his problem, but I grew impatient. I decided to hold the feet down for him. So what does he do? Left hand starts to drop and when it hits the mattress... boom, startled awake. So now I have him in a pseudo hog tie hold, with hand and legs pinned. And he was soundly asleep in about a minute. I didn't know I would have to restrain my child at such a young age.

On a side note, Cameron was sporting a shirt today that says "Property of Mom." I'm not sure if Mindy has heard of this little document entitled the Emancipation Proclamation, but I'm pretty sure that what the shirt is promoting has been illegal since the 1860's. Let the little man be free Momma!