Future Longhorn?

We started Cameron's college fund this week. The bank's software program projects that by the time Cameron is 18, it will cost almost $190,000 for him to attend UT for four years. $190,000!!! The good news is that this amount can be saved by either putting $40,000 into stocks and bonds right now and letting it grow for 18 years (not likely) or putting $400 a month into the fund for the next 18 years (at this point, still not likely but more likely than the previous scenario). Since we're hopefully talking about tens of thousands of dollars, Mike wanted to make sure that we would still be in control of the money once Cameron turns 18. We were assured that we would control the funds so that he can't go and spend all $50 in one place (I'm not kidding - we seriously started his college fund with $50!).

Thanks to the Cantrells for sending Cameron some Longhorn love all the way from NorCal! Hopefully, they picked up one for June too...

Yesterday Was a Good Day

Two important milestones occurred yesterday for both Cameron and me:

1) I discovered that my old pre-pregnancy jeans still fit! Hip hip hooray! I can still stand to lose at least five pounds and I have a bit of a muffin top going on, but I can finally kiss those maternity pants goodbye!

2) When I checked on Cameron last night, I was happy to see that he was sleeping with his head turned to the left. Up until now, Cameron has always favored turning his head to the right, so I was quite glad to see the kid's an ambi-turner and may avoid wearing a helmet. Speaking of ambi-turners, I am wondering if Cam looks more like Zoolander than Elvis? Voice your opinion and vote in the poll to the left.

Our little Zoolander doing his best Magnum impression:

The real Zoolander:

TCAPP - Part 3

Due to the shocking nature of these nursery rhymes, I feel the need to precede posts with some parental content ratings.

The following nursery rhyme has been rated I for infant. It may be unsuitable for children over the age of 6 months old or who may in anyway be able to understand its content. Additional sub-ratings include:

D - suggestive dialogue
V - violence
FM - fear mongering
SM - sociopathic mallards

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you: Goosey, Goosey, Gander

Goosey, Goosey, Gander
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber

There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers
I took him by the left leg.
And threw him down the stairs.

Well, well, well... it seems these delinquent wordsmiths have taken their hatred of the elderly to a whole new level. Now we're just having animals throw the greedy bastards down flights of stairs. And what is even the moral of this story? Children say your prayers.... or else some god-warrior waterfowl is going to off you. I guess nothing says goodnight like a crusading goosey assassin.

I'm beginning to think that the conspiracy of these disturbed poets is bigger than I ever imagined. I mean, all of these nursery rhymes have come from one book. And I generally have to read about three before I come across one that is totally insane. It looks like my work is cut out for me my friends.

Papa

Smile and the World Smiles With You

In the last couple of weeks, Cameron has become very smiley. Every night for the last week, he has smiled at me during our middle-of-the-night feedings. I go to pick him up from his crib, and he's smiling. I look down at him as I change his diaper, and he's smiling. Even when he's eating, he's smiling. This morning, he sleepily smiled at me with his pacifier in as he fell asleep. Whenever he flashes that gummy grin at me, I find that I can't help but smile too.

The People Have Spoken

According to the results of the last poll, 7/8 of you don't think it's too late to send out Cameron's birth announcements. I was hoping to have sent them out much earlier than now, but the whole process took much longer than I anticipated. First, I waited until Cameron was four-weeks-old to take professional newborn portraits. Then it took a week before I could even select which photos I wanted to order. Then it took another two weeks before I got the CD of images, and then another week to order and receive the birth announcements. Anyways, I got them all addressed this weekend and they are going in the mail tomorrow!

By the way, the one person who voted that it was too late to send out birth announcements was my husband the miser...

Here are Cam's newborn portraits:

To Catch a Perverted Poet, Part 2

Welcome, boys and girls. What's better on a rainy Saturday morning than a story with Papa? I want you to position yourself criss-cross applesauce in front of your computer monitor. It's time for the children's classic: Come, Let's to Bed. If you will, please picture two very strange-looking children sitting at a table beside an older lady with purple hair and Woody Harrelson's glasses from Natural Born Killers. Below that captivating illustration is the following rhyme:

"Come, let's to bed," says Sleepy Head.
"Wait a while," says Slow.
"Put on the pan," says Greedy Nan.
"We'll eat before we go."

And that's it. WTF?!?! This poem may not be as creepy as my last feature, but it is both nonsensical and offensive at the same time. First, what does any of that mean? I have read that poem about 20 times now and I've got nothing. I've toyed with the idea that there is some much deeper, almost existential, message in those words. Perhaps it's a metaphor for life itself? But then my pondering is interrupted by my son pooping himself, I remember it's target audience, and I return to my initial hypothesis. The poem sucks.

Second, the poem is mean-spirited. Was anybody else drawn to the fact that one of the children was named "slow." That's just cruel. And totally unnecessary. The English language has multiple, fairly common names that rhyme with go. Could the author not think of the name Joe? Or Mo? And it feels like the poem goes out of its way to portray grandparents as selfish. What is the point of calling that old rocker chick greedy? It doesn't tie in to any other aspect of the "plot." All Nana wants to do is make some food for her handicapped grandchild Slow. That seems like a rather selfless act to me.

In the end, I am left to conclude that Come, Let's to Bed is hurtful idiocy. This is a very dangerous combination. It will be expunged from Cameron's library before it infiltrates his psyche. I am going to tear it out of the book and place it face up in my son's diaper. I beg of you all to do the same. A wrong has been righted this day.

You are welcome,
Papa

It's Official...

...I'm returning to work on Monday, May 3. I just emailed my boss today to confirm my start date. I am honestly having a lot of internal struggles about returning to work, namely the fact that I am going to miss spending so much time with Cameron. We are still trying to figure out our childcare situation, but I think between Mike, my parents, and a possible part-time nanny, we may be able to avoid putting Cameron into daycare.

So T minus 17 days until maternity leave is over...